This is a better version of Anya sitting. She has minimum support on her upper arms. Her back is slightly curved -kuba- so that needs to be worked on. Physical therapy, Bobath technique and ABR should help her.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Practice sitting
This is Anya in the garden of our friend, Jan Stevan's and she is with her godbrother Maico. Maico is 11 months and Anya 18 months. Anya's sitting is slowly improving. Yaya Haidy is actually beside her in case she topples over. But Anya manages to sit in this position for a few minutes at a time. She's busy looking at trees and the afternoon light passing through the leaves while Maico plays with the plastic bag.
This is a better version of Anya sitting. She has minimum support on her upper arms. Her back is slightly curved -kuba- so that needs to be worked on. Physical therapy, Bobath technique and ABR should help her.
This is a better version of Anya sitting. She has minimum support on her upper arms. Her back is slightly curved -kuba- so that needs to be worked on. Physical therapy, Bobath technique and ABR should help her.
My child's burden in life
Sometimes I think she was given to me so I can be delivered from my sins. Sometimes I think she suffers for my sake. So that my sins may be forgiven. During her seizure attacks, she cries in pain. When she has an upset stomach filled with gas because of the medication, she cries for 1 hour straight. 
All I can do is rub oil on her belly, put hot compress and keep lifting her legs up so she can release gas. And the whole time she is crying. If she were able to speak, she would tell us that her head aches during and right after a seizure. Why does my baby suffer so much? Why not me instead? I deserve to go through the pain and my baby does not. Perhaps she carries the burden of her sinful mother. She is suffering on my behalf. And seeing her suffer is the only thing the Lord will allow me to suffer. Whatever the Lord says. My baby can handle it, I cannot. I just have to bear seeing her in pain.
A few friends have told me not to blame myself or ask if there was anything wrong I did during the pregnancy or right after I gave birth. Not once did I think of that. Nor did I think that the Lord is allowing this so I can suffer. It’s the other way round. Anya suffers to sanctify me and perhaps a few others. Well, at least that is what I think. My sinfulness is what I blame for Anya’s condition.
The prognosis that Anya will have mental
retardation led me to think that Anya will have a limited capacity for happiness. That is, happiness in a way we all experience it. Oh I believe she will be happy to the fullest of her capacity, but not to the fullest of our capacity. We have a large glass to fill. She has a small glass. And that small glass is easily filled. Here I blame myself again. Because I ask why did the Lord give me a child that has a small glass? Is it because the Lord thinks that I cannot fill her glass if it were bigger? Because I cannot fill my own glass to the brim, I can only fill Anya’s with a small amount. And because the Lord loves Anya so much, He made her a smaller glass because her mom cannot fill a big glass. Is that all that I can give to my daughter?
Others have said that mothers with special children have more to do in order to give their child happiness. I would rather say that it is much easier to make these children happy because their joys are simple. Simple compared to what we usually expect. I don’t need to send her to Disneyland to make her happy. I just have to be there for her. That should be easier, in essence. It is hard to give up many things like my alone time. The Lord wants me to simplify my life. I have to give up certain comforts. To do the right
thing is actually more rewarding. So the Lord is giving me an opportunity to do well as a mother because Anya will not be asking much. She will be asking a lot of my time. The Lord has given that to everyone, but not everyone uses it wisely. Now my room for error is less, because I will obviously be spending more time with my daughter. Anya does not give me an excuse to make a mistake.
I am the burden that my child carries. The Lord has given me an opportunity to do things right. Anya’s development on earth is not a measure of my success. I just hope I don’t screw up.
All I can do is rub oil on her belly, put hot compress and keep lifting her legs up so she can release gas. And the whole time she is crying. If she were able to speak, she would tell us that her head aches during and right after a seizure. Why does my baby suffer so much? Why not me instead? I deserve to go through the pain and my baby does not. Perhaps she carries the burden of her sinful mother. She is suffering on my behalf. And seeing her suffer is the only thing the Lord will allow me to suffer. Whatever the Lord says. My baby can handle it, I cannot. I just have to bear seeing her in pain.A few friends have told me not to blame myself or ask if there was anything wrong I did during the pregnancy or right after I gave birth. Not once did I think of that. Nor did I think that the Lord is allowing this so I can suffer. It’s the other way round. Anya suffers to sanctify me and perhaps a few others. Well, at least that is what I think. My sinfulness is what I blame for Anya’s condition.
The prognosis that Anya will have mental
retardation led me to think that Anya will have a limited capacity for happiness. That is, happiness in a way we all experience it. Oh I believe she will be happy to the fullest of her capacity, but not to the fullest of our capacity. We have a large glass to fill. She has a small glass. And that small glass is easily filled. Here I blame myself again. Because I ask why did the Lord give me a child that has a small glass? Is it because the Lord thinks that I cannot fill her glass if it were bigger? Because I cannot fill my own glass to the brim, I can only fill Anya’s with a small amount. And because the Lord loves Anya so much, He made her a smaller glass because her mom cannot fill a big glass. Is that all that I can give to my daughter?Others have said that mothers with special children have more to do in order to give their child happiness. I would rather say that it is much easier to make these children happy because their joys are simple. Simple compared to what we usually expect. I don’t need to send her to Disneyland to make her happy. I just have to be there for her. That should be easier, in essence. It is hard to give up many things like my alone time. The Lord wants me to simplify my life. I have to give up certain comforts. To do the right
thing is actually more rewarding. So the Lord is giving me an opportunity to do well as a mother because Anya will not be asking much. She will be asking a lot of my time. The Lord has given that to everyone, but not everyone uses it wisely. Now my room for error is less, because I will obviously be spending more time with my daughter. Anya does not give me an excuse to make a mistake.I am the burden that my child carries. The Lord has given me an opportunity to do things right. Anya’s development on earth is not a measure of my success. I just hope I don’t screw up.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
November 2009 Text Messages of Love
R. Ortega 30 November 2009 at 8:27pm
I was in a deliverance and healing retreat this weekend, included Ate in my prayers. If you want her to be prayed over, whenever you’re ready, I could request our ministry to schedule. Paolo R. is also part of it (the one with the late Br. Rommel Salvacion).
P. De Guzman 22 November at 5:55pm
Hug hug! I’m sure it is so heartbreaking just lift it up and remember that God is always good and has a plan for you three. You are in my prayers for strength, understanding and wisdom. Mother Mary be your guide in being the best mom to Ate.
Papa 22 November 2009 at 7:03am
You don’t know, and you cannot imagine – how much Daddy, that’s me, loves you – every since you came to be, now and till I go! Pray that I live long for Ate and you.
Papa 22 November 2009 at 6:36am
Good morning Bambam. I love you very much bunso! Henceforth, Ate is and will always be my favorite apo. Remind me that I told you this even after God will give Ate a miracle of recovery in normalcy. I have to pray more, and more assiduously for Ate’s sake. And work smarter too.
N. Munar 20 November 2009 at 9:17pm
Hi K, praying for Ate’s health too! Of course, the parents too! I know she will be ok very soon! God bless always! Don’t worry, God loves Ate. Mother Mary will not let anything bad happen to her. Stay strong. Love you.
GCLee 18 November 2009 at 11:43pm
Hi K. Talked to Agatha already. I’ll call you tomorrow so you can rest na tonight. Keep praying and be strong. With a lot of help and aggressive therapy Ate will do better. I can’t imagine what you’re feeling but always remember that Ate’s condition is nobodys fault and He must have a special mission for Ate and you. Every time you put Ate to sleep, whisper to her to pray to make her a strong baby. He’s always listening to His little angles
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