To vaccine or NOT to vaccine

Debating inside my head… Vaccines for Toni? She’s 6 weeks in a few days and due for a Rotarix shot. Still hesitating on giving her vaccines. Anya hasn’t had any except for the mandated HepB soon after birth done at the hospital. She had 1 more shot a month after that. When her seizures manifested, doctors postponed any shots afterward and kept her at the wait and see stage. Well, her seizures are gone and she seems to be doing well without vaccines.

The thought of giving my child a virus puzzles me. They get a fever afterward and somehow their body seems to get rid of the virus by developing anti-bodies to fight it. Why can’t it be done in the natural course then? Why not contract the virus without injecting it and then fight it off? Yes, it means they get sick. They develop and immune system to fight it.

Concerns are…. Toni will probably be more exposed to other kids and she can carry certain viruses. Anya can then get sick. Since Anya’s immune system is unlike regular children, she will have a harder time fighting it off. It’s unpredictable. That’s why she doesn’t have the vaccine in the first place. Toni, on the other hand, can transmit the virus if she catches it. Vaccine Toni to protect Anya? Strengthen their immune system and fight it off? Viruses today aren’t like they were before. They’re much harder to fight simply because our health level isn’t the same – because the food we eat isn’t the same. Hence, supplements. Are supplements enough? Natural sources are better. Natural sources lack the nutrients because of hormones and chemicals. Wait, going off topic… To vaccine or not to vaccine, that is the question. And remains a question. Will postpone decision for now.

Books for Special Mommas

BOOK REVIEWS

Aside from having a diary as an outlet for my feelings and emotions, the first thing I planned on next was doing a lot of reading and research on special children and conditions my child may have.

I cried many buckets of tears and slowly accepted I have a special child. I had to move quickly, I told myself. The more time I spend on crying, the less time I have to help my child. I read through my diary just a few days ago and it helped me understand how I got to where I am now. A little more stable I suppose. And maybe I’ll share what I felt back then another time.

I did start on researching as soon as Anya’s diagnosis and MRI results were shown. At first it was just whatever was on the internet. Some information would conflict with information from other websites. And I remember Anya’s physical therapist saying that it’s better to read books and publications. So we purchased a few books and still continue to purchase some more. I actually borrowed books and returned them to the owners after reading them. And a few books were given to us by friends who were thoughtful enough to think we needed it more than they did.

Some are for special cases and some books are applicable to parents with normal children. It’s just that parents with normal children sometimes don’t bother with knowing what MORE can they do for the development of their child. Special mommas will go through countless literature and research to learn what others have tried, if it worked and if it will apply to their child.

Here are a few of the books we’ve read and I hope to add more as I read more:


Seizures and Epilepsy in Childhood: A Guide
By Freeman, Viling and Pillas
A Johns Hopkins Press Health Book

The title says it all! It really is a guide. After reading this, we realized that Anya had seizures even before that day we rushed her to the emergency room. Who would have guessed that lip smacking was already a seizure? All the while we thought she was imitating us kissing her. This book also kept us calm during her seizure attacks. Because of what we’ve read, we did not panic and knew how to deal with it. We also did not have to rush her to the hospital – although there was one time I almost did because she was blue for a few seconds. The neurologist said 20 minutes without oxygen would be danger zone but of course even before reaching 20 seconds of no oxygen I was already rushing to the car. Well, she was able to breath even before 20 seconds and the seizure attack began to wane so that was just one frightful episode.

The book also helped us to decide on the medications Anya was taking. We read the small fine print on the medicines and asked around too. And this book, since it was updated, gave us the hard facts. The liver could suffer long term from medications. And another type of medication would be given should the liver not be able to cope – said our doctor.

Well, keeping her drugged was the last thing we wanted. We did see children who have been on the same drug for several years as maintenance. The parents were happy that their child had no seizures. But looking at the child, I said to myself. Yes, no seizure and also no brain activity – since I had read the book already.

We decided to go with homeopathic remedies. That would be another blog entry. And to date, she has no seizures and no medications. And brain activity is all there!

The Ketogenic Diet
A treatment for children and others with epilepsy
By Freeman, Kossoff, Freeman and Kelly

I do have this book and did read through it quickly. I thought we would need it, but as you can see, we did not need to go on the Ketogenic diet. Thank goodness! Because it is quite hard and expensive to maintain!




What to Do About Your Brain Injured Child
By Glenn Doman

I have no idea why my brother had this book. But I’m sure glad he had it! Even if it’s an old edition, it still helped. He got it on book sale after he purchased the other Doman books – which I have also read and find very helpful.

This is a good starter book for any parent who just found out that they have a special child. It gives you hope and jump starts you on your research and knowledge.

I was about to enroll in the program but we didn’t have enough funds for it. And we were able to do a lot of other research and decided to do other things that are within our financial capacity. You really have to decide where to put your money and what is a good investment for your child.

I would say that this book is a basic must for special parents.

How Smart is Your Baby
By Glenn Doman and Janet Doman

I had a friend purchase this book for me in Singapore although you can get in online too. And when another friend saw the book, he made fun of the title and mocked it a bit which annoyed me at that time.

This book really helped by giving us other activities we can do with our child other than therapy. I would call it “constructive play” activities. Of course there are many other books out there that give you ideas on what you can do with you child. But Glenn Doman activities were made for special children. This book, however, can be applied to normal children. And if done so, normal children would not be in the average but would excel in so many things. I plan to apply what we’ve learned here for our other children.













Other Doman books you may consider are The How to Teach your Baby books – Read, Math, Physically Superb, Encyclopedic Knowledge, Swim. My brother has everything in the old edition which is still good. What we don’t have is How To Teach Your Baby to Swim. Maybe after Anya gets better from her cough and cold we will get her in the pool.

Don’t get all books at once though. It may be overwhelming! Or you can get them all for cheaper shipping fees but you don’t have to do all of them right away. Pace yourself!

The New Book of Baby and Child Massage
By Robert Toporek

This is an easy reading book. Comes with illustrations too! My dad said that my grandmother massaged all her children when they were babies. And in the provinces, the old people have been doing this. There are so many benefits to massaging your baby. And more often the parent benefit more. It’s very calming and relaxing. And really, touching your baby often does wonders.

It’s just great that there is a book with a step by step guide. And part by part too! Even facial massage. The book also explains why you massage a certain way. Anya’s therapist also says that they have studied what “strokes” are the best ones.

But even if you don’t have this book yet, just hold your child and your hands will guide you on how to gently massage her.

Children with Starving Brains
A Medical Treatment Guide for Autism Spectrum Disorder
By Jaquelyn McCandless

Since we are seeing a biomedical practitioner, we thought this would be a good book. We got hold of it even before our doctor recommended it. Haven’t gone through most of it yet, but so far it has been very informative.

Anya does not have autism, but biomedical treatment would greatly benefit her. I wondered why so many supplements are needed these days. The explanation is simple. The food we take isn’t the same as the food we used to take. And the food our parents ate during their pregnancy when they were carrying us isn’t the same as what our grandparents ate. The food has more chemicals, more steroids, more processing, less nutrients, less vitamins, less minerals. More of what we don’t need and less of what we need. The environment isn’t the same. And we’ve paid for it through the years. And in my case, my child is suffering from it.

Each child has a different chemical composition, so to speak, so we need a doctor to guide us. Anya had this test done and we found out that she had a lot of toxins in her body. And that her biological make-up could not cope with it. So there! We have to find supplements that will help her and foods to avoid for her.

Your Child without Glasses? Help your child to perfect eyesight without glasses
By Janet Goodrich

Can’t find a photo of the book online and don’t want the hassle of taking a photo of the book I have. I just borrowed this book by the way. But I would like to get my own copy as well as the other more recent books of Goodrich.

I wish I had read this book before. Or at least I wish my parents did. I have poor eyesight. And the only reason why I don’t wear glasses or contact lenses now is because I had laser surgery done a few years ago. If only I knew these before! Well, at least I can start applying them now and hopefully not need reading glasses at 40 – as what the eye doctor said would probably happen even after surgery.

This book comes with fun activities and even songs with notes for the keyboard! Yes, you sing to your child to help her vision. I’m sure it will also help Anya’s hearing problems! Hmmm… time to find a book on how to improve her hearing.

Embracing God’s Purpose for My Special Child
By Malou Tiongson-Ortiz

I read this book without tears, to my surprise. My dad has been trying to read it, but after a few paragraphs he has to put it down because his face is covered in tears. A fellow special mom recommended it to me and I immediately went to the local bookstore to purchase a copy. It is written by a Filipino mom just like me. Her daughter has Down’s Syndrome.

It really puts everything in perspective and really helps special parents cope. She had put into writing all that was in my thoughts and in my heart. At least most of it! Everything she said I knew, perhaps because of my Catholic upbringing. She quotes a lot from the Holy Bible and it has been the same Christian teaching ever since the beginning of Christianity. She had applied it all to having a special child and reading her book not only inspired me, but organized my thoughts and strengthened my resolve. I know now that God was, is and will always be beside me because of the blessing He gave us.

This is another basic must for any special parent. And I dare say, even for none Christians. It may help you find your faith. All the more I am convinced that the only way we can really love our special child, is to love God and place complete trust in Him.

I read this once, but it is good practice to read it over and over again to find strength.

Lord, I place Anya at the foot of your cross. Anya is your warrior here on earth fighting to save as many lives by touching and inspiring them to be holy and pure as she is. As her mother, I place my life in Your hands. Mama Mary, guide me in being the best mother to Anya. Do as you will, Lord. I pray that my life will be a worthy offering to You, because I know I do not deserve a blessing such as Anya.

My child's burden in life

Sometimes I think she was given to me so I can be delivered from my sins. Sometimes I think she suffers for my sake. So that my sins may be forgiven. During her seizure attacks, she cries in pain. When she has an upset stomach filled with gas because of the medication, she cries for 1 hour straight. All I can do is rub oil on her belly, put hot compress and keep lifting her legs up so she can release gas. And the whole time she is crying. If she were able to speak, she would tell us that her head aches during and right after a seizure. Why does my baby suffer so much? Why not me instead? I deserve to go through the pain and my baby does not. Perhaps she carries the burden of her sinful mother. She is suffering on my behalf. And seeing her suffer is the only thing the Lord will allow me to suffer. Whatever the Lord says. My baby can handle it, I cannot. I just have to bear seeing her in pain.

A few friends have told me not to blame myself or ask if there was anything wrong I did during the pregnancy or right after I gave birth. Not once did I think of that. Nor did I think that the Lord is allowing this so I can suffer. It’s the other way round. Anya suffers to sanctify me and perhaps a few others. Well, at least that is what I think. My sinfulness is what I blame for Anya’s condition.

The prognosis that Anya will have mental retardation led me to think that Anya will have a limited capacity for happiness. That is, happiness in a way we all experience it. Oh I believe she will be happy to the fullest of her capacity, but not to the fullest of our capacity. We have a large glass to fill. She has a small glass. And that small glass is easily filled. Here I blame myself again. Because I ask why did the Lord give me a child that has a small glass? Is it because the Lord thinks that I cannot fill her glass if it were bigger? Because I cannot fill my own glass to the brim, I can only fill Anya’s with a small amount. And because the Lord loves Anya so much, He made her a smaller glass because her mom cannot fill a big glass. Is that all that I can give to my daughter?

Others have said that mothers with special children have more to do in order to give their child happiness. I would rather say that it is much easier to make these children happy because their joys are simple. Simple compared to what we usually expect. I don’t need to send her to Disneyland to make her happy. I just have to be there for her. That should be easier, in essence. It is hard to give up many things like my alone time. The Lord wants me to simplify my life. I have to give up certain comforts. To do the right thing is actually more rewarding. So the Lord is giving me an opportunity to do well as a mother because Anya will not be asking much. She will be asking a lot of my time. The Lord has given that to everyone, but not everyone uses it wisely. Now my room for error is less, because I will obviously be spending more time with my daughter. Anya does not give me an excuse to make a mistake.

I am the burden that my child carries. The Lord has given me an opportunity to do things right. Anya’s development on earth is not a measure of my success. I just hope I don’t screw up.