I got bangs

A friend and fellow mommy blogger started her first blog writing contest which I found in her facebook status. Oh, her first contest!

Click "like."

I'll join it.

Topic is: What do I do to take care of me?

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Oh my GHAD!!! What do I do to take care of me???!!! I honestly could not answer the simplest question. I have NOT been taking care of ME! Mother's Day came and went and I had absolutely no idea how to take care of me. I forgot to take care of my appearance. My friend called me losyang to my face! And I vowed before never to lose it!

Two kids: A 23 month old special needs child and a 5 month old fully breastfed (no milk bottles yet) baby is not an excuse. I needed to be saved and one look at me screams, "give me a make-over!" I forgot the last time I bought myself an outfit. My make-up kit has expired make-up. My eyebrows were shapeless. My hair... oh my ghad, let's not even go there.

Since I have a very short window to leave my 5 month baby, I told my husband I would go to the nearest salon that offered the cheapest price. I wanted to be back home quickly and I didn't want to spend. All I could see were the bills to be paid and the mounting expenses of having a special needs child and a fast growing 5 month baby. I felt guilty spending on myself. So I told hubby I'd get that PhP39.95 haircut. He told me I'd regret it and insisted I go to a REAL salon.

"How could you even think of spending? We're up to our neck with bills!" I said.

"We'll manage, you have to get a haircut you like." said hubby.

"They're all the same. It's just a trim with some layering in the back."

"You'll regret it and probably spend even more to have it fixed."

"We'll see."

Two hours later I came back with hair that looked like my own mother cut it from necessity because of bubblegum getting tangled. Well, bubblegum in my hair would have looked better. I had to blow dry it for several days just to make it look more decent. I had to swallow what I had insisted with hubby. He said nothing but his face had that "I told you so" look every time he stared at my hair. Terrrible! The blades hit my hair for a total of 10 minutes. I wasn't even halfway the magazine I was browsing when the "hair cutter" told me I was all done. Hair cutter and NOT hair stylist. What style?! That's it? I can't go home yet, I just got here. So I got a manicure pedicure because it was cheap anyway. Mani-Pedi went okay but I was like the back seat driver of the manicurista. Who still uses that pink dye color for a no nail polish look? Is that watered down betadine? Oh my ghad! Save me! I felt robbed of the cheap amount I paid, went next door to buy myself ice cream hoping to feel slightly better before coming home.

My friend who recently visited me was just so bothered with my hair. She saw me at home so I had not blow dried my hair. It was dripping wet and dried up on it's own by the time she left.

"Layerd ba yan?" What the h*ll happened to you? Losyang!

She saved me. She set a date, took me to the real salon, talked to the hair STYLIST... and dared me to get bangs. The last time I got bangs was when I was a toddler! Yeah, those kinds of bangs that look like a bunot. I got that. And the stylist fixed the back of my hair to a true layered look.

"Now that's a hairstyle to wear."

Next is getting a new wardrobe and throwing away my losyang blouses.
Replace dull black shoes and cheap rubber flip flops or thongs or whatever you call 'em.
Invest in stylish everyday shoes and sandals.
Buy make-up and USE make-up.
Go bonding with girlfriends.
Buy expensive yoghurt and not feel guilty.
Look good feel good.
Do it all for MYSELF and become a better mom that way.

Catching my husband check me out is a great bonus. He thanked my friend who brought me to the real salon :)

What did I do to start taking care of me? . . . I started with getting bangs. I haven't decided yet what I'll do next month but definitely I will not look losyang! anymore!

The Beatitudes for Friends of Persons with Disabilities

While searching for a vegetarian blogger, I came upon this from another special mom blogger. It's beautiful and got me teary eyed. I suppose if my daughter read this to me one day I would break down too...

Blessed are you who take time to listen to difficult speech, for you help us to know that if we persevere, we can be understood.

Blessed are you who walk with us in public places and ignore the stares of strangers, for in your companionship we find havens of relaxation.

Blessed are you who never bid us to ‘Hurry up’ and more blessed you who do not snatch our
tasks from our hands to do them for us, for often we need time rather than help.

Blessed are you who stand behind us as we enter new and untried ventures,

For our failures will be outweighed by the times when we surprise ourselves and you.

Blessed are you who ask for our help, for our greatest need is to be needed.

Blessed are you who help us with the graciousness of Christ, who do not bruise
the reed or quench the flax, for often we need the help we cannot ask for.

Blessed are you when by all these things you ensure that the thing that makes us
individuals is not our peculiar muscles, nor our wounded nervous system, nor our difficulties
in learning, but in the God-given self which no infirmity can confine.

Rejoice and be exceedingly glad and that you have given us reassurance that could never
be spoken in words, for you deal with us as God dealt with His own children.

-Author Unknown

And I believe it came from this version which I also came across (from the Mariposa Ministry)...

Blessed are you who take time to listen when communication is difficult,
for God will grant you an understanding heart.

Blessed are you who walk unembarrassed with those who are "different,"
for God will grant you self-acceptance.

Blessed are you who are patient with us who struggle to do things you can do readily, and blessed are you who do not snatch our tasks from our hands to do them for us,
for God will grant you patience with yourselves.

Blessed are you who encourage and support persons with disabilities in new and uncertain ventures,
for God will renew your courage to dream and to dare.

Blessed are you who can recognize the gifts and seek the help of those who are weak and dependent,
for God will heal your fear of future losses.

Blessed are you who freely offer yourselves as eyes for the blind and as hands and legs for the paralyzed,
for you shall be helped by the blind and the paralyzed.

Blessed are you when you see past physical or mental limitations, defects, or deformities, and affirm each one’s beautiful God-given personhood,
for you will know that God receives even your body as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to Him.

Rejoice and be exceeding glad,
for you will see Christ incarnate
in the fellowship of all believers.

Cross Lateral Exercise

Anya did two good things today: 1) use arms to balance cross lateral style and 2) look hard right.

Lately I’ve been giving Anya massages in the morning when she wakes. I massage her legs where there seems to be some tightness. This tightness is causing her feet to fold in which can cause her to have elephant feet or flat feet. I will have to keep doing this daily to see some improvement. I was worried the AFOs were not helping since her feet look the same. Well, teacher Anna says at least it didn’t get any worse.

After a short massage, we do cross lateral fun with her arms and feet. She likes it and loves it when I do it at different speeds. She seems to like it more when she has to anticipate it coming. So when she was losing balance while sitting and swung her arms in front of her (literally crossing them over each other) to get her center again, I knew it was because of these morning exercises.

When her dad carried her on his lap, she was looking to the right like she would to her left – the one where she really stretches her neck out. Must be the cross lateral exercises too. Okay, that has to be a morning ritual now.

Infant Visual Stimulation - make your own part 3

A tight fist. Anya’s left hand is often closed. How can she explore if she won’t open it up. Pablo improvised some garter wrapped in her palms to open up her hands. Encouraging her to feel different textures should open up her curiosity. Homework is to find rough textures like sand paper and bathroom spiked no-slip plastic mats.


Oma found plastic brush. Feels rough. Opened up Anya's hand. She pauses to feel it.


A cookie can makes loud clanking noise when she bangs on it. That's a sticker at the bottom part of the can. I thought it added more color and contrast.


It's also a good storage box for the La Maze magnetic stackable critters. Teehee.


Got this large powdered milk can from my sisinlaw. Anya liked it as a drum. Liked it even better when the magnetic critters started hanging on to it. Swipe away Anya!


Bottled water... fill it with silver glitters... add food coloring (or in this case, mouthwash and dishwashing soap)... shake, twist, twirl... see the lights reflect on the glitters...see her mesmerized by the sight. Got this idea from our Kindermusik teacher :)

Homemade visual and sound toys can be better for Anya. Tin cans, water bottles spoons and silverware offer more stimulation than manufactured toys. Improvise. Be creative.

Play, Patience, Perseverance,

"Play is an essential part of growing up and researchers believe it's critical to ensure children reach their full potential in life. " - Ellie Dixon on the importance of play

Play is so important to a child because it is her way of learning. Curiosity is her ally. Playing is a sign for her thirst for knowledge.

I completely agree on the importance of play. And I highly encourage it of my child. But she does not seem to know how to play. When I present her with toys, she doesn't play with them. I have to literally force her to hold a spoon or rattle. Her therapist tied a spoon to her hand with a garter and stuck a velcro so when she swipes a toy with her ballistic movements, the toy sticks to her hand.

For normal children, you can leave them with a bag of toys and they will be preoccupied with it for at least several minutes - for as long as the toys are interesting. For A, it took her a while to actually look at the toy. It takes a lot of patience to get her interested in anything. It can be frustrating.

It's like the chicken and egg story. She has to play to learn. She has to learn to play. We have to start somewhere.

We've been reading her books and getting better responses from her. She looks at the photos and sometimes utters some sounds. She smiles at the really colorful photos too.

The whistle soft piano is a big help. She used to have useless ballistic movements of her arms. She would flap and flap them. Then we put the toy in front and a drum so it would make noise. At first it seems she didn't know what she was hitting. But sometimes, it looks like she wants to hit the toy. She realizes that she hits it. Cause and effect. Something so basic in play that we adults take for granted.

She's been busy the past few weeks with her hands. She sucks her thumb a lot. And sometimes it seems like she wants to pull out her hand with the other hand. And she stares at her hands too by opening them up and sometimes closing them. More body awareness I suppose. These are good signs.

I suppose I am just being impatient. To grow in patience, one has to be patient. Now I admire teachers because they are so tireless in trying to get a child to learn. I need to persevere in teaching Anya to play so that she can eventually play to learn. Hard work will pay off one day. I just hope my drive and level of enthusiasm doesn't wither before A gets to start playing on her own. Sometimes I wish I could hear Anya whine at the mall and ask me to buy her a toy. How I wish I could be that mom whom I saw a few days ago in the supermarket - when she nonchalantly brushed of her whining daughter, "that's too much anak, you don't need that toy." How I wish I could one day say, "You're too old for that toy A."

Playing with food

Pablo Beelen's first session for 2011 and he encourages Anya to play with food!

Observation: when there is a toy in front of her, she taps, if none, she sucks her thumb.

Never underestimate a child’s brain to absorb a lot of information. Anya is ready for her toys. Must take them out of the boxes and find space for them.

To vaccine or NOT to vaccine

Debating inside my head… Vaccines for Toni? She’s 6 weeks in a few days and due for a Rotarix shot. Still hesitating on giving her vaccines. Anya hasn’t had any except for the mandated HepB soon after birth done at the hospital. She had 1 more shot a month after that. When her seizures manifested, doctors postponed any shots afterward and kept her at the wait and see stage. Well, her seizures are gone and she seems to be doing well without vaccines.

The thought of giving my child a virus puzzles me. They get a fever afterward and somehow their body seems to get rid of the virus by developing anti-bodies to fight it. Why can’t it be done in the natural course then? Why not contract the virus without injecting it and then fight it off? Yes, it means they get sick. They develop and immune system to fight it.

Concerns are…. Toni will probably be more exposed to other kids and she can carry certain viruses. Anya can then get sick. Since Anya’s immune system is unlike regular children, she will have a harder time fighting it off. It’s unpredictable. That’s why she doesn’t have the vaccine in the first place. Toni, on the other hand, can transmit the virus if she catches it. Vaccine Toni to protect Anya? Strengthen their immune system and fight it off? Viruses today aren’t like they were before. They’re much harder to fight simply because our health level isn’t the same – because the food we eat isn’t the same. Hence, supplements. Are supplements enough? Natural sources are better. Natural sources lack the nutrients because of hormones and chemicals. Wait, going off topic… To vaccine or not to vaccine, that is the question. And remains a question. Will postpone decision for now.